Questions on the dating game dating a junior
I am going to be real cautious about saying there is such a thing as “too fast.” What I would rather ask is this: What’s driving the speed?
If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes.
On top of that, my hope would be that young men would seek out older men. The appeal of youthfulness in churches is so heavy and celebrated, and yet I have found, without a good mix of generations, you are going to get lopsided and silly.
And the worst possible thing imaginable in my mind is a bunch of 24-year-olds sitting around talking about life.
So, in that way, I’m encouraged by what technology has to offer.
If, though, we are saying that technology has changed the game in regards to how single young men and women approach one another, before that relationship is defined, then I have a lot of concern about technology.
So, we want to celebrate marriages at The Village Church.
And I want to celebrate women and men who have given themselves over to make disciples, whether they are married or not.
But then on top of that I think what you celebrate and how you celebrate is important.If the relationship is outpacing knowledge of character, reputation, and knowledge of godliness, then that is way too quick.But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
Search for questions on the dating game:
We have a staff person here who met and married her husband in a matter of months. I hardly knew they were dating before they were engaged.